I recieved the Holy Spirit on my one month anniversary. It was... a nice experience. I always enjoy follow-ups. Frankly speaking, i'm upset with myself for sinning even after recieving the Holy Spirit. I think i must be one of those hopeless cases. Sometimes i think if God suddenly wipes out all the evil in the world and i'm gone because of it, i'll feel better. He's too kind... too gracious to me. I think i'm not deserving of it, although my name does mean " God is gracious."
I wish i could throw myself into the sea and re-emerge a cleansed soul. I'm supposed to have been given something better; the baptism of the Holy Spirit. Still didn't learn to cherish this but went on to sin. I hate myself. Maybe it'll be better off if he just struck me down with a lightning bolt. I know i don't really deserve this but i hope that before he does that, he can forgive me of my sins, just as Jesus did in the past.
I think if i were to throw myself into the sea, i'd be drown before i cleanse myself of all my sins.
Frustrated Ciaoz.
dreamt of @ 9:41 am
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` wordsWorth.
certain quotes from certain places..
"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trials because when he stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him." James 1:12
"Oh, nothing can happen more than once,
But all things must happen one day
Over hill and dale, over wood and stream,
My dying voice will blow away... " The Neverending story "Walk by Faith, Not by sight" 2 Corinthians 5:7
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