It's been raining non-stop this whole week. Luckily today was a clear and sunny day. Didn't think i could stand another rainy day. =( Boo! Anyway, this is not going to be one of those really essay-ish posts that i've filled half my blog entries with, so don't worry!
Just realised how fortunate i am to have a sis like my.. erm.. sis! She's actually thinking of going to my last concert despite having to attend it alone! I wonder if i would have done the same thing given the same situation.
Was just browsing through my friends blog; Pam, Kai and Alec's and i realised that my two years in SAJC was like a dream and better left that way. Saw a number of pictures of my batch band mates and the junior batches having fun at a bbq. Let's see... i felt.. like i was looking at people whom i had never known before in my entire life. Kinda odd considering that we spent 2 years in the same school and band and even went on an overseas trip together. It was like they were still the "SAJCians band members" but i'm just an "SAJCian".
Not that i really resent it or anything, coz i wasn't really close to all of them in the first place, only a handfull who were in the picture. Still, it got me thinking about how i seem to not be able to keep "popular" friends. They are like the wind that blows across the field, spiraling up the petals of flowers and then they are gone, as with the beautiful sight of dancing colours. Hmm.. i promise.. that will probably be the only flowery sentence in this whole post (pun not intended).
In any case, i'm just a gal leading a simple life, with dreams and hopes that life will bring with it the richness of meaningful and lasting friendships, but i guess it's not a very mature thing to say. Speaking of which, i'm going to be 21 in 8 months plus. That's a really loooong time but i'm already dreading it. It feels to me like some kind of test; Quarter life exam- Subjects= no. of friends , popularity index, expectations check... Argh! Don't like it at all.
I'm becoming more and more pessimistic. Must be the Freudian theory that i studied in HP204 that's affecting me. Dear Freud believes that we are govern by the forces of procreation (libido) and self-destruction( thanatos). In that case, may we have found the cause of AIDs. Anyway, he's linking everything to sexual urges. Basically, babies like to put things in their mouths, like their mummy's nipples coz they enjoy sexual gratification! In one of his 5 stages of life, he suggested that girls suffer from "penis envy" and that makes us have low self esteem... I think he has penis obsession! Dear laughed at the idea the moment i told it to him... See! Even a guy thinks that it's a funny idea...
Anyway... i'm going to be grateful.. very grateful that i have a bunch of secondary school friends that i can count on.. and i've just just found my pri 1 and 2 best friend! Grace... Don't know about the rest of the people out there that i know, but at least i'm sure that these pplz are there for me, through thick and thin and concert ticket sales! Oh yar.. and my family~ esp my sis! Aluminium foil...ehhe.. i gave her that nic when she was small, coz she was so tan then.. so oululu= alu, then jasmine=min... but i'm glad she like it now.. used to hate it and cry whenever we call her that.. =)
Well pplz, enough of me ranting on and on...till next post... Ciaoz!
dreamt of @ 1:17 am
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` Tagboard.
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` wordsWorth.
certain quotes from certain places..
"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trials because when he stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him." James 1:12
"Oh, nothing can happen more than once,
But all things must happen one day
Over hill and dale, over wood and stream,
My dying voice will blow away... " The Neverending story
"Walk by Faith, Not by sight" 2 Corinthians 5:7
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