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These past weeks have been a rollercoaster ride. Emotions running high, a tangled web of accusations and such. Interestingly, i've been the object of interest ( for all the wrong reasons... =( ) again. Even when i do not seek troubles, troubles seek me.
If not for my Father in Heaven, i believe i would have fared a lot worse than i have and i am extremely grateful for his love and grace. Never had i thought i could bear up under the circumstances of probable betrayal, plausible hypocrisy and some form of a smear campiagn. Yet, through his power, i have managed to survive so far.
Notice it is "probable, plausible and some form". I do not know the truth behind what has transpired; whether this person is lying or a victim of misrepresentation. I had decided on Monday that i would not seek to know the truth behind it all because i had believed that God would allow me the knowledge if i am meant to come to know of it.
How i relished that moments of freedom that came after that. However, the next day, the will of God seemed to indicate that i should seek the truth, for part of the truth came to me through the words of a close friend. Even then i had wanted to deny his will and today, while reading through the picture bible that Pam loaned me (thanks gal! =), the words " And if you have any trouble with anyone, talk with him at once. If he listens, you will have won back a friend." struck home hard again.
I do not deny that i am fearful; fearful of what is to come, fearful that what i hear is not the truth or is the truth, fearful of the sense of awkwardness that follows such events. Still, i do not see myself as having any other way out, for i do trust that God has his plans and his reasons for everything that he does. I only hope that God would guide my actions.
Like a ship sailing on uncharted seas, i'll leave my fate up to Him. =)
dreamt of @ 3:13 pm
jo lum
chilli
liars
To be able to concentrate on my studies!
16.09.1985
virgo
` likes.
novels
cats & nachos
anne of green gables
jughead
purple!
dreaming..
believing in the goodness of the world
` don't-likes.
being disappointed
mud on my shoes (yuck)
gravyyyyyyyyy on my riceeeee =P
murtabak! =s
blockheads
To go for my canada trip with Pammie-gal!
To have my 21st birthday celebration in Esmiridas!
To have more faith!
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certain quotes from certain places.. "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trials because when he stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him." James 1:12 "Oh, nothing can happen more than once, But all things must happen one day Over hill and dale, over wood and stream, My dying voice will blow away... " The Neverending story "Walk by Faith, Not by sight" 2 Corinthians 5:7 |