Today started out really wonderful; driving, then movie at cck with wyn, then new believers dinner at zhi yong's house. All that spoilt it was one phone call and an msn chat.
I know that most of my SAJC friends will not be reading this blog because i have yet to see their tags (except eugene's =P) and i'm not sure if i want them to read it or not. Maybe if God wills it, someone will read it and the message will get through in the right manner.
It was such a nice time we spent in 2 malan road. Those days of walking round the track, of eating pattaya rice, of playing in one band. Now, it seems as if we are like a cloth with a big tear on it's side and all that is keeping the two sides apart is one thin thread. I do not know if my feelings are justified, but it seems as if everytime we go out, Kai and me are like strangers among a group of friends. At first he was the one who felt it the strongest. On my belated birthday celebration, i felt it too. Believe me, it was not a good feeling.
Once jun and me spoke about how we had drifted and that was when i realized that i wasn't alone in thinking that there was something wrong between the two guys. We had promised a gathering where everyone would trash things out. Unfortunately, that did not materialise. I wonder why.
Singapore is only 600 odd km long and 60 odd km wide. I believe that the distance between jurong point and clementi is only about less than a tenth of the actual length. In fact, it is only 5 stops apart if you take a train. Why is it that it seems like we are living on the two sides of the Grand Canyon?
I start to understand the verse, " You are the salt of the earth.But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men." Matthew5:13 in a different light. If i myself am not convinced of the friendship that we have, how can I convince Kai that it still exists?
David, if you ever come to know of this entry, please understand this:" If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over." Matthew18:15 . I of course hope that there's no bad blood between you and kai and that it is all a misunderstanding, but if for whatever reason there exists some, i hope that you can find it in you to speak to him. Da, please if God is willing, may you also speak to David and allow this matter to be resolved.
A friendship is a living gift that withers if it lacks communication, time and understanding. I'm sorry for past in which i did not spend enough time with you all. However, i hope that you all can understand that by placing gatherings on dates that we have previously indicated as one in which we cannot make it will not help us attend the gathering. In fact, all it does is to make both sides feel resentment. Perhaps a real discussion in which everyone's view point is equally represented can be carried out so that no one feels left out.
I've said all that i said under the assumption that this friendship is still one that we can salvage. If under any circumstances, i am actually wrong about it, please do let me know. I'd like things to end on a nice note, not one of just convenience and born of neglect.
Sincere Ciaoz
dreamt of @ 11:28 pm
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` Tagboard.
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` wordsWorth.
certain quotes from certain places..
"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trials because when he stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him." James 1:12
"Oh, nothing can happen more than once,
But all things must happen one day
Over hill and dale, over wood and stream,
My dying voice will blow away... " The Neverending story
"Walk by Faith, Not by sight" 2 Corinthians 5:7
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