It has been a long time, far longer than i can imagine, when i picked up a book that stirred such emotions in me. In the past,they were pleasant feelings. Feelings which i reminscince with great pleasure, like a child rolling a bite of chocolate caramel in her mouth, feeling its moist solidity,slowly melting, thrilling my tongue with the intense flavor of bliss.
Recently, quite the opposite has happened. I call it an unfortunate affliction. Fear of the unknown, it grips me, living more in my imagination than reality. Or so i hope. The unmistakable attraction that draws me deeper as i trade curiousity for fear, is one that i cannot ignore.
I've never been one to be hooked on the story of Dracula, for as much as I hate to admit it, horror stories frighten me. Only as i grew older did i come to relegate these characters to figments of authors' imaginations or distorted pieces of history. Why i chose to pick up a book on Vlad, though not blatantly titled as such, would be more of an issue of silly arrogance and an intrigued and aroused mind than great interest in it. I had believed i had out-grown my past fears and i wanted to prove it to myself. In addition, i did truly believe it would be an interesting read.
So far, i've covered close to 20 chapters in almost 2 weeks. A rarity when it comes to me reading novels. For those who know me, you'd know i read very much faster than this. Why the delay? I'd say, fear grips like a vice. It's so hard to move beyond what is in my mind. Yet i don't want to give up reading it.
Don't say anything. I'm only trying to deal with my fears. One day, i'll be laughing with you about it. When and if i get over it.
dreamt of @ 1:17 pm
Your Seduction Style: Au Natural 
You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it.
That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power!
The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism.
You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world.
Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in.
You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you?
You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways.
Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you.
As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.
hehe... is this true??? =P I hope it is ...
dreamt of @ 9:42 pm
/You Are Emerald Green 
Deep and mysterious, it often seems like no one truly gets you.
Inside, you are very emotional and moody - though you don't let it show.
People usually have a strong reaction to you... profound love or deep hate.
But you can even get those who hate you to come around. There's something naturally harmonious about you.
dreamt of @ 3:13 pm
The Keys to Your Heart 
In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.
You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.
Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.
Your risk of cheating is high. You can't resist desire and lust.
You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.
In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.
dreamt of @ 1:05 pm
This Is My Life, Rated Life: 
5.2Mind: 
4.4Body: 
6.8Spirit: 5Friends/Family: 5Love: 5.4Finance: 4.8Take the Rate My Life Quiz
Seems like i'm living quite a sad life... =) i'm gonna do something about it and it starts from freeing myself from emotional burdens and people who suck the life out of me! Bye Bye to you all!!!! YEEHA!
Excited Ciaoz!
dreamt of @ 3:15 pm
dreamt of @ 9:35 am
Today was our survey day. The day we cast nets out to fish for men. It was an interesting experience. Honestly, the day's a bit of a blur for me. What i do remember was however, a story shared in service, the dinner we had in Cafe Cartel for Eileen and a very short talk i had with Sherwyn.
I came to learn over this past few weeks that God can speak to us in many ways. Being caught up with my daily worries, i became less and less willing to read God's word. It wasn't an outright denial but rather an attitude borne of neglect. It brings to mind what my PE teacher used to tell us before we set off for our 2.4 km run, " Don't stop even if you are tired, just run slower. If you stop, you'll find it hard to start again." I had first stopped during the recess week and although i wanted to go back, i found myself finding justifications for not reading God's word. Soon, it became alright to not pray to God. I felt empty and perpetually tired, yet sleeping did not help the least bit. I needed to hear God's affirmation of love again, yet i was unwilling to read his word to know what he wanted to tell me.
Instead of giving up on me, God spoke to me through services. Today, he made known to me that if i trust in Him, i could be like Sarah, who overcame objections from her family and held on to her birthright. Now, even my dearie sis has received Christ. Only difference in our story is the level of faith involved. Have to seriously work on that.
Tired Ciaoz.
dreamt of @ 12:46 am
Your Inner Blood Type is Type A 
You are most compatible with: A and AB
Famous Type A's: Britney Spears and Hilter