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It has been a long time, far longer than i can imagine, when i picked up a book that stirred such emotions in me. In the past,they were pleasant feelings. Feelings which i reminscince with great pleasure, like a child rolling a bite of chocolate caramel in her mouth, feeling its moist solidity,slowly melting, thrilling my tongue with the intense flavor of bliss.
Recently, quite the opposite has happened. I call it an unfortunate affliction. Fear of the unknown, it grips me, living more in my imagination than reality. Or so i hope. The unmistakable attraction that draws me deeper as i trade curiousity for fear, is one that i cannot ignore.
I've never been one to be hooked on the story of Dracula, for as much as I hate to admit it, horror stories frighten me. Only as i grew older did i come to relegate these characters to figments of authors' imaginations or distorted pieces of history. Why i chose to pick up a book on Vlad, though not blatantly titled as such, would be more of an issue of silly arrogance and an intrigued and aroused mind than great interest in it. I had believed i had out-grown my past fears and i wanted to prove it to myself. In addition, i did truly believe it would be an interesting read.
So far, i've covered close to 20 chapters in almost 2 weeks. A rarity when it comes to me reading novels. For those who know me, you'd know i read very much faster than this. Why the delay? I'd say, fear grips like a vice. It's so hard to move beyond what is in my mind. Yet i don't want to give up reading it.
Don't say anything. I'm only trying to deal with my fears. One day, i'll be laughing with you about it. When and if i get over it.
dreamt of @ 1:17 pm
jo lum
chilli
liars
To be able to concentrate on my studies!
16.09.1985
virgo
` likes.
novels
cats & nachos
anne of green gables
jughead
purple!
dreaming..
believing in the goodness of the world
` don't-likes.
being disappointed
mud on my shoes (yuck)
gravyyyyyyyyy on my riceeeee =P
murtabak! =s
blockheads
To go for my canada trip with Pammie-gal!
To have my 21st birthday celebration in Esmiridas!
To have more faith!
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certain quotes from certain places.. "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trials because when he stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him." James 1:12 "Oh, nothing can happen more than once, But all things must happen one day Over hill and dale, over wood and stream, My dying voice will blow away... " The Neverending story "Walk by Faith, Not by sight" 2 Corinthians 5:7 |